*I never loved u enough to hate u*

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being “in love” which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

— St. Augustine

*I'm lost...in dreams and reality*

Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all.

"Some things, however, are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out, and a lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back."

*sometimes....bigger is better*

*stars that clear have been dead for years, but the idea just lives on*

love me like I need to be loved

tired.


hurt.


empty.


lost.

*Some of us are not build for being loved*

Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own loveless ness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it.(D. H. Lawrence)

*You are calm and symmetry and i’m an empty hole*

Oh, innocent victims of Cupid,
Remember this terse little verse;
To let a fool kiss you is stupid,
To let a kiss fool you is worse. ( E. Y. Harburg)


pictures source:www.velvetlipstik.tumblr.com

*The worst way to miss someone is to have them right next to you and to know you can never have them.*

Sometimes I'm sad for no reason. Or maybe it's just everything at once and my subconcious feels it, but I don't. I'll hear a beautiful song and cry or read an amazing book and just want to be alone. I'll see graffiti on a wall and think of all the love the world is missing.

source: http://velvetlipstik.tumblr.com

*how can you love me when I'm ugly?

It's OK

*Oh it was the first time i fell in love, the first time i felt my heart.*

It's very frustrating… to feel two different feelings at once.

It's also very frustrating when a friend asks you how you’re doing and when you try to explain, you can’t.

I’m tongue tied.

I don’t like being this emotional.

*i want...*

i want to feel okay. i want to feel important to you. i want to feel like you care about me as much as i care about you. i want to be right and not have you resent me for it. i want to to talk to you. i want to tell you everything and not be afraid of your judgement. i want to believe you. i want to trust you. i want to know where i stand. i want to laugh with you. i want to stop crying over you. i want to have great nights and better days. i want to listen. i want to be a part of your dreams. i want you to be a part of mine. i want to know you are interested. i want you to initiate conversation. i want you to choose me over someone else. i want to know you think about me. i want to feel special. i want to write and know you’ll read it. i want you to see. i want you to feel. i want you to know. i want to want you, and i want you to want me too. i just want to, okay?

*one day I decided to live without feelings*

I'm a lover so I must be a fighter. I get sad easily but I'm working on it. I hardly sleep and I always think too much, but I get all my shit done. I have a weakness for the bad boys, but I'm learning to look through their false promises and compliments. I don't let many people in anymore, but if they're in, they are or should be there forever. I know I can be strong and independent but I've been broken...many times. And I'm scared, that you could broke me again. That's the reason why I push even you away from me...

lyrics by me

*My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing.*

*I hate to admit the fact, that u still have an effect on me*

"Love is such a strong word. When we were just little kids, we always thought love was just about hugs, kisses, & happiness. But as we grow, we learn that it’s not just about happiness, it’s also about learning to accept rejections, tears, & heartbreaks. That’s where I come to help you up, wipe those tears away, put your heart back to one when you’re hurt from love. & when I say, “I love you” you’d better believe that I mean that with every fiber of my being."

*I don’t think that we can ever be what we were.. you know? I just don’t think I can trust you*

These nights I get high just from breathing.
When I lie here with you...I’m sure that I’m real,
like that firework over the freeway.
I could stay here all day...
but that’s not how you feel.

*the things that keep us apart keep me alive....and the things that keep me alive keep me alone*

I was born to love no one
No one to love me
Only the wind in the long green grass
The frost in a broken tree.
I was made to love magic
All its wonder to know
But you all lost that magic
Many many years ago...

*...and we walked without words*

I know you don’t really read my letters,

The very thought of not knowing the exact location

Of the room where we shared our last kiss will eventually kill me,

‘Cause it wasn’t just any kiss.

It wasn't like a first kiss or a second kiss or a millionth kiss...

But it was a perfect kiss.

It was a kiss we had been working on forever.